A Beginner´s Guide to Dying

Although the title might suggest otherwise, A Beginner’s Guide to Dying is not just about death. In fact, the memoir is a great celebration of life! Simon Boas’s reflections on his adventures, deep relationships and personal growth sends a universal message about living fully and dying gracefully.

Simon Boas was a humanitarian aid worker who, at 46, was diagnosed with terminal throat cancer. In this reflective work, Boas shares his journey from diagnosis to his final days, providing insights into his experiences and the lessons he learned along the way. His narrative is full of fantastic humor and wisdom, challenging readers to confront death not with fear but with curiosity and openness, which is something I have always found very important. He discusses various topics, including faith, meditation and the use of psychedelics, as means to ease end-of-life anxiety. Reading it reminded me very strongly of the beauty of life and how fortunate I truly am. It was an incredibly pleasurable read, with laugh out loud moments, that pulls you back to what matters most.

In loving memory of Simon Boas

Below, I have quoted a page that particularly resonated with me:

“Accepting death is actually something we can all do, and it is life changing. This does not mean welcoming it as the end of life´s difficulties, although I understand why some very unfortunate people reach that conclusion and even hasten it as a result. It doesn´t mean being indifferent to it, or valuing life less. It just means understanding that it is inevitable, that it´s going to happen to all of us (yes, even you Silicon Valley squillionaires!) and that it is as much a part of life as birth and puberty and unrequited love and joy and all the rest. 

I have found Buddhist teaching on this to be very profound. At the heart of this is an understanding that everything is impermanent, and by pretending otherwise we cause ourselves suffering. We cling, we crave, we unreasonably expect, we get disappointed. There is great serenity – even enlightenment – to be found in realizing that nothing is fixed, that birth and death are all part of a cycle, and even that the thing which we commonly call self is not some changeless observer but something of an illusion when one examines it closely.

The best lesson from the Stoics is memento mori – always hold in mind that you will die, perhaps even tomorrow. This doesn´t make life pointless; it makes it purposeful. Prioritize, put worries into perspective, don´t put things off. Live!”